Posted in writing on Apr 13th, 2008
I can’t help it. I’ve trained myself to overlook a bit of apostrophic abuse here and there, and I’ve come to accept that people have to be left to stew in their own lax capitalisation and dreadful grammar, but this is just too much: Nnnnnnnng. Nnnnnnnnnnnng. Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng.
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Posted in digression on Mar 19th, 2008
I’m hurt. I’ve been trying very hard not to just slag off the BBC lately, and a friend pointed out this evening that he kind of missed it. Well, if you think I’m going to say something sarcastic about under-bonnet forecourt-proximity-detecting depreciation devices you’ll be sorely disappointed. Instead, a mini rant about Microsoft. Regular readers [...]
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Posted in digression on Feb 28th, 2008
Marks & Spencer has a lot to answer for. I don’t mean because it contributes 400 million carrier bags to the 13 billion apparently handed out by British retailers each year, or even because of the “widespread discrimination” that Unite alleges at the store’s meat suppliers. But because of that fucking “These are not just…” [...]
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Posted in digression on Jan 7th, 2008
If you’d asked me a little while ago what the single most annoying thing in the world is, I might have proposed this: the moment when you’re stuck in a seemingly interminable queue for some kind of customer service representative, and a prerecorded voice interrupts the ring tone to tell you: “we apologise for the [...]
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Posted in digression on Dec 12th, 2007
I’m not happy. I worked for too many years in IT, and if there’s one lesson that you’d think I would have learned from my time there it’s that faster is not always better. This would, on early evidence, seem to apply to my internet connection, which was upgraded about a week ago from a [...]
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Posted in journalism on Dec 10th, 2007
One of the things that troubled both Charlie and me before we came to work at Spannerworks was the very idea of a journalist working for a marketing company. That and the idea that we’d never again be able to listen to Bill Hicks and laugh without reservation. Neither of us was sure exactly how, [...]
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Posted in writing on Dec 6th, 2007
Charlie and I normally agree on a remarkably high proportion of things, so much so, in fact, that people are beginning to see us as a happily married couple. Just to scotch that particular rumour, then, here’s something we don’t agree on. Or should that be, “here’s something that we don’t agree on”? In the [...]
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Posted in journalism on Oct 28th, 2007
There are people starving, others dying of disease and many millions who are oppressed and victimised, but if there’s one thing that people seem to give a shit about it’s technology. I’m utterly at a loss to explain why. This isn’t the grumbling of a marginalised old-timer, I should point out. I may (dimly) remember [...]
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Posted in journalism on Oct 15th, 2007
I seem to remember reading that every cigarette you smoke takes seven minutes off your life. If all you’re going to do in the extra seven minutes is invent equally smug statistics you might as well carry on smoking. Another way to chisel away at your life expectancy is to watch 24-hour television news. I [...]
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Posted in writing on Oct 10th, 2007
One of the best things about English is the fact that, if you know what you’re doing, you can mess about with it. In fact, even if you don’t know what you’re doing you can often get away with it. If everybody stuck to the rules we wouldn’t have the twisted brain-wrong of a one-off [...]
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